Pickles

I deplore pickles.
I don't think they're neat.
I think they smell awful funny,
like my old Grandpa's feet.

They're all green and bumpy
and lumpy too,
and clumpy if mashed
into a fickle pickle stew.

The sourness...oh!
It's detestable at best.
It's briny and salty,
but mostly grotesque.

They were cucumbers once,
but they did something bad
and were turned into junk
by the great cucumber Dad.

So they're bad, you see
right down to the sickly seeds.
They did terrible, no good
very bad deeds.

My sister once ate one
and started turning green
and began to smell
like a nickel pickle machine.

So before you eat
a sickle pickle or two,
you ought to remember
that I warned you.